Story #010
What Am I Doing Here?
Max J Miller
Welcome to the 10th edition of The Wisdom Wayfinder!
Starting with this edition, Thriving in Our Third Act will be the first section. This will allow me to introduce and give context to the story presented in the second section, In Search Of…My Wisdom Legacy.
The third section will continue for now to be “Ideas Worth Shredding.” Keep opening my weekly emails for some surprises in the next weeks and months. Thank you for engaging with me on this adventure.
Finding Our Place and Purpose
Ever walked into a room full of people from your past… and felt both like a time traveler and a stranger?
Over 200 of my high school classmates gathered this past weekend in the suburbs just north of Chicago to celebrate our 50th anniversary of graduation. Wow! That’s almost 25% of our graduating class of 860 students.
In the months leading up to this reunion, I experienced alternating waves of excitement and anxiety. One minute, I was curious to see who we had all become; the next, I wondered if I’d even recognize myself in their eyes.
I kept assuring myself that, if nothing else, this event would give me loads of ideas and fodder for my weekly missives.
Since the reunion, however, I have struggled to find a coherent story amid the swirl of thoughts and feelings this weekend evoked. I have agonized over writing a few meaningful paragraphs about my experience.
After a dozen false starts, I stared at a new blank page in my journal. I finally wrote down on the page the question that kept echoing in my mind:
That’s the name and theme of my story below (In Search Of…My Wisdom Legacy). It’s a story about that perennial temptation to feel out of place.
That simple question—What am I doing here?—echoed louder than I expected. Not just at the reunion, but in my writing. In my life.
What am I doing ‘here’? (in this Third Act of life) is the question that urged me to create The Wisdom Wayfinder.
Over the next couple of weeks, I’ll share some of the answers to that question I have found in the form of stories and ideas that have inspired me to undertake this labor of love.
Today, I’m taking a first pass at a statement of purpose for The Wisdom Wayfinder. I’d love your thoughts on this (just hit reply and type me a note).
Statement of Purpose for The Wisdom Wayfinder
1. Connect with thoughtful souls who sense there’s more to life beyond achievement and who long for depth, meaning, and authentic connection in this season of life.
2. Illuminate the common threads of our shared humanity—our triumphs, regrets, reinventions, and the inner gold buried in a lifetime of lived experience.
3. Encourage each other to reclaim our stories—not as finished memoirs, but as living testaments still unfolding.
4. Inspire the generous act of legacy—not just leaving something behind, but living in a way that carries forward wisdom, character, and care for future generations.
5. Call forth the modern-day sages—men and women willing to offer not just their opinions, but their presence… to be carriers of wisdom in a culture starved for depth.
As Robert Browning wrote:
“Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed hisgrasp,Orwhat’s a heaven for?”
Let us reach together.
Not just upward, but inward, outward, and onward.
And maybe, just maybe…
We’ll create a little more heaven right here.
What Am I Doing Here?
“What am I doing here?” The question hit me as I climbed the stairs to Kenilworth Hall for my 50th high school reunion. I may have been walking into my freshman year at high school. I felt like that pubescent kid who didn’t fit in. Back then, I was the proverbial country mouse who recently moved to the city.
I saw small groups drinking, laughing, and dressed to the nines through the entrance.
At the beginning of my third act of life, I relived a scene near the end of my first act.
My mind was flooded with anxious thoughts:
“Will I recognize anyone here?”
“Am I dressed appropriately?”
“Will anybody remember me?”
“Do I want anyone to remember me as I was then?”
Thankfully, one of my dearest friends from high school called out my name moments after I entered the building. Maryclaire had played Lucy when I played Linus in You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown. I adored her zest for life and unapologetic self-expression.
She looked at me and burst my anxiety: “You look fabulous! Leave it to our class to ignore the ‘casual’ dress code for the opening event.” Never short of an opinion, Maryclaire’s snarky comment made me feel at ease.
She pointed out two other classmates I would know, and I sighed deeply, thinking, “I’ll make it through this.”
The evening proceeded like a rollercoaster of emotions. Self-consciousness turned to joy at seeing friends for the first time in five decades. Joy yielded to sadness at seeing the “In Memoriam” display with over 100 graduation photos.
The evening soundtrack could easily have been Maroon 5’s song Memories:
Here’s to the ones that we got
Cheers to the “wish you were here, but you’re not”
‘Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
Of everything we’ve been through
Toast to the ones here today
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way …
The Friday evening cocktail party was the first of five reunion events that weekend. I was exhausted when I returned to my hotel room that first night. I sat on the edge of my bed, rolled my shoulders, and stretched my neck side to side.
I closed my eyes to sense everything I was feeling and experiencing. Immediately, I recognized that same mixture of excitement and anxiety I felt in the weeks leading up to this reunion.
On the jukebox in my mind, George Harrison’s voice sang a tune that I didn’t immediately recognize. A psychedelic image of a butterfly appeared in my mind’s eye.
I searched George Harrison’s songs on my phone and found “Be Here Now.”
As I read the lyrics, I felt a message from deep within my psyche urging me to stay in the moment and enjoy each part of this reunion experience.
The admonition to ‘be here now’ applies profoundly to the challenges of aging. It’s so easy to drift away into memories of the past and anxious thoughts about the future. We have the opportunity to experience life in each rich moment.
What am I doing here? I don’t have an immediate answer, but my soul is inviting me to live in the mystery and wonder of being. I’m here, now, and that’s beautiful.
Can’t Teach an Old Dog New Tricks
Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?
You’ve undoubtedly heard of Grandma Moses, who began painting at the age of 76 after her arthritis made it impossible for her to continue her embroidery hobby. She painted daily for 25 years, producing thousands of works and achieving worldwide fame. She painted right up to her death at 101.
Ray Kroc famously bought the original McDonald’s restaurant at 59 and built a global franchise empire at an age most folks are retiring. Franchising was a controversial business model back then, but Kroc learned and applied several new tricks to legitimize and popularize the franchising model.
Benjamin Franklin was 70 when he signed the Declaration of Independence, and some historians contend that his strategic ‘tricks’ won France’s decisive support of the American Revolution.
Laura Ingalls Wilder published her first “Little House” book in her 60s, launching a beloved literary career late in life.
After attempting to establish a regular meditation practice for decades, I finally got into a daily routine at the age of 59, and at 68, that daily practice is still going strong.
As a result of my practice, I’ve also learned to regulate my emotions more effectively, which has brought greater peace and joy to my life and my relationships.
What new tricks have you learned in your golden years? What new tricks would you like to learn?
While learning a new sport may help you live better and longer, and learning a new language may prolong the life of your brain, I recommend mastering new tricks that develop your heart:
– Acceptance of all you cannot change
– Kindness to yourself and others (especially those close to you)
– Courage to speak your truth and stand up for goodness and justice
– Gratefulness for this extraordinary gift of life we share
– Forgiveness, which is the access to freedom and peace
Can’t teach an old dog new tricks? That’s an idea worth shredding.
Cheers,
P.S. Got thoughts about the Elder Manifesto? Join our Town Hall. Reply to this email to receive an invitation to the event.
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