What people my age secretly know but rarely say out loud is this: life is messy. Being human is messy. Living life is a distinctly untidy business.

We strive, and we reach, and we stretch ourselves to be and have and do. Yet, we fall short. 

Like that old image: there are two dogs inside us, and which one wins depends mostly on which one we feed. We’re a mix of divine and devilish impulses. 

Even if we seek to pursue our higher angels, we never fully escape the gravitational pull of survival that makes us selfish and self-preserving. 

It’s easier to see the mixture in others than in ourselves. We see clearly that other people are neither wholly good nor wholly bad. Yes, some seem evil incarnate, others saintly. 

But the truth? We’re all snakes with wings. We know what it is to live in the sublime—to be loving, kind, beautiful—and we know what it is to be abased, ugly, crude, harmful. 

And though we may strive to feed the good dog, we delude ourselves into thinking we have, or soon will, reach some pinnacle of perfection, free of all corruption.

Any virtue we think we possess—integrity, authenticity, courage, leadership—is (in practice) an imperfect expression of an ideal. These virtues aren’t destinations. They’re mountains with no tops, journeys with no arrival, no finality.

We know we won’t have all we desire, nor do all we dream of doing. Even as countless things clamor for our attention—bright and shiny things that once looked lovely, we’re not going to have it all or do it all. 

Life is about making choices day by day, and finding peace in the midst of the mess and the incompletions we’ll ultimately leave behind. 

In this human world, we will all experience disappointment and even betrayal. We don’t give up, because life is an ongoing process of discovering—often rediscovering—the beauty, wonder, and gloriousness of being alive. Each day, there’s something new to be revealed, unconcealed. 

We know that very little really matters. Love matters. In our lifetime, even our most noble aspirations will fall short, but acts of love and compassion are seeds that will take root and bless future generations. As someone has said, “Only God can count the apples in one seed.”

What people my age secretly know but rarely say out loud is that there’s mercy, grace, and redemption mysteriously woven into the fabric of the whole universe. Love covers a multitude of sins and ultimately endures. So in the midst of that eternal love, we dwell in beauty and goodness and peace.

That’s what we know to be true.

Shine,