Story #025
Agency: The Art of Acting with Courage in Our Third Act
Max J Miller
Aspiration #3: Agency—Access to Thriving
Having explored acceptance last week (Issue [024]), I now turn to its necessary companion: agency.
As I’m using the term, agency means the power and willingness to take purposeful action.
Acceptance without agency can turn into resignation, and agency without acceptance can turn into frenzy. Thriving in our Third Act requires balancing both.
That’s easier said than done.
In the popular Serenity Prayer frame, agency might include both the courage to change things and the wisdom to discern between what I can and cannot change.
Both discernment and courage stretch me to my edge. It’s tempting to “go with the flow.”
Maybe you feel that subtle temptation to coast, to let days blur together in comfort. Agency calls us to resist that drift. It calls us to act, even when risk whispers, ‘stay safe.’
I’ve written quite a bit about how we gain discernment through experience and observing our failures (see Issues [002], [006], and [023], for example). Praying for discernment without the requisite experience is purely wishful thinking. It’s like praying for patience—inviting struggle into your life, because patience develops through struggle.
Still, as I age, I notice a tendency to hesitate before embarking on new adventures that will inevitably involve trial and error.
My mind mutters, ‘You’re too old for this.’
My soul counters, ‘Too old for what—living?’
I’ve surrounded myself with inspiring thoughts for this purpose (to shake me out of my reverie in moments of complacency and resignation).
This quote is emblazoned across the top of my computer screen:
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
— Helen Keller
This one is written out in my own hand on my whiteboard next to my desk:
Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, “Wow! What a Ride!” – Hunter S. Thompson
Adventure is thrilling, but in our Third Act, the deeper question emerges…
What am I seeking? What is my soul longing for?
Over the past two years, I conducted over thirty interviews with retired, accomplished people. In those conversations, four concerns or desires arose consistently: connection, meaning, relevance, and impact.
The desire for impact seems to be the most pressing concern for me. When I reflect on my life, I ask, “Have I done what I came here to do?” I wonder if there is more I can do to contribute and make a difference.
I realize that not everyone shares my concern or ambition to make an impact in my third act. Some people simply want to enjoy themselves or enjoy time with loved ones, and that can be beautiful, too.
Whether you share my desire to make a difference or your priorities lie elsewhere, we must take action. One of the great teachers in my life, Werner Erhard, had some keen insight into human effectiveness:
And all meaningful action requires risk. So we have an opportunity to take a leap of faith.
That’s where the courage part comes in.
For years, I thought about writing this blog but stalled. I had plenty of explanations for my hesitation, but when I peeled them away, what remained was fear—fear of being ignored, fear of being irrelevant, fear of looking foolish.
My friend Robert Hollis has an acronym that cuts fear down to size: False Evidence Appearing Real.
When I treat fear as truth, it blinds me to possibility. I can step forward freely only when I see it for what it is—a shadow with no substance.
Werner Erhard put it plainly:
“The fear of being a failure is a lot less important than the unique opportunity I have to make a difference.”
That line jolts me awake every time I reread it. Because in the end, the possibility of making a difference will always outweigh the comfort of playing it safe.
And that is the true gift of agency: it reminds us that life is not meant to be endured, but to be created.
Frederick Franck once wrote of artists whose medium is not paint or stone but life itself. Everything they touch comes alive. They are, in his words, “artists of being alive.”
That’s the aspiration I can lean into—and the invitation I extend to you.
In our Third Act, agency means stepping forward despite fear, daring to make each day a brushstroke in the masterpiece of our lives. Not someday. Not later. Now.
Shine,
P.S. This week, my teacher, Werner Erhard, turns 90. Happy Birthday, Werner. Thank you for contributing so richly to my life.
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